Was timing the issue, or was it something a little deeper than that? However, Amanda says she started to miss him as the summer went on. Take a step back and really think before pursuing this person again. Approaching him or her in the right place at the right time is the number one step toward deciding if your former fling should have really been flung. We would stay in bed for a long time and just talk and laugh. She was kind of acting like a girlfriend already, and I liked it, so I went with it.
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15 Guys Share The Quality That Made Them Want More From A Casual Hook-up | Thought Catalog
There was no difference for me. Finally, she ended it because she wanted to focus on finding someone who wanted more. One girl I was seeing really had her life together — she was classy, she owned a home on her own and was responsible with her life. She always listened when I talked about my day instead of having that glazed over look. It was nice to have someone really care a lot about me, even the boring stuff. She was the first girl I really wanted more from.
She was wife material. If you see her out, then take her home. If not, then don't call her or text her to find out where she is.
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You're not supposed to care that much, remember? Don't get too comfortable. It can be tricky to hook up with an ex without feeling too comfortable. No cuddling, no passionate kisses as you leave, and no hanging out around the house in sweatpants eating cold nachos from the night before.
All of these signs show that you're too comfortable in the non-relationship and that you're on your way to dating again. If you want to hook up with your ex without any trouble, then you have to maintain control of the situation at all times. Don't let her set the terms of your hook up, and try to keep things at her place so you remain the master of your own domain.
Don't cancel your plans to hang out with your buddies if she wants to hang out; tell her you'll hang out with her if she's free. This doesn't mean you should tell your ex exactly what to do; you should find a time and place that works for both of you, but you shouldn't fall prey to her needs. Keep your new relationship private. Don't hang out with your ex in front of your friends, go to a party with her because she doesn't want to show up alone, or tell your friends that you've been hooking up with her again.
The more people you bring into it, the more complicated things will get, and you should keep it simple -- just between the two of you.
How to Handle Seeing Your Former Hook-up This Fall
If you start going out in public with her and hanging out with her friends, they'll immediately disapprove and tell your ex that she should set the terms for your relationship. If you bring her out in front of your friends, then she'll start to feel like your girlfriend again. Avoid "lovey dovey" stuff when you're hooking up.
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Maybe when you were dating, you would be tender with your woman, telling her how beautiful she is, how much you love her, and how much you love the little dimples in her cheeks. Well, all of your Romeo-moves have to go out the door at this point, or she'll get the wrong picture. She'll think, "He said I'm beautiful -- he must still love me," or "He ran his hands through my hair -- it has to mean something. You can tell her how hot she is and how much you love her body, but stick to the sexy -- not the tender -- compliments if you want it to last.
Stop if one of you starts developing feelings again.
Unfortunately, it'll be hard to keep hooking up with your ex without having one of you develop feelings for the other person again. As soon as that happens, you'll have to push the eject button on the non-relationship, or things will only get worse from there. Unless you're still really in love with your ex and are using your hook up moves to win back her heart -- incidentally, a terrible idea -- you should cease and desist the second you or she shows signs of having feelings.
15 Guys Share The Quality That Made Them Want More From A Casual Hook-up
If you start getting that achy feeling in your heart and start musing about what a great relationship you had while knowing it can never work, then it's time to leave. If your ex tells you she misses you, sends you sweet not sexy texts, or says she wishes you could do some couple-y things together, then it's time to bow out.
If you have to end the "relationship" for this reason, explain yourself first. You shouldn't be a jerk just because it's over. Stop if one of you starts liking someone else. If one of you starts developing feelings for someone else, even if you haven't pursued that person, you should end up the hook-up period. Hooking up with your ex is something to do when you both want to get some action and are bored because there are few romantic prospects in your lives.
But if one of you does start liking someone else, it's time to stop hooking up so you have room to explore those feelings.
If you know your ex has a crush on someone else, you're doing her a disservice by continuing to hook up with her and taking up her time. If you start liking another girl, she won't want anything to do with you if she knows that you're hooking up with an ex-girlfriend. Stop when you've fallen into a routine. Hooking up with your ex should last a month or two at most before things start to get more serious. Even if you're both trying as hard as you can to keep things casual, if you've fallen into a rhythm, basically feel like you're dating, and know exactly when you'll see each other next, then it's time to stop hooking up.
If you know when you'll see your ex next, and you stop feeling a thrill at the prospect of hooking up, then the fun is over.
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